Finding Play - film update
When I started writing this blog as part of my research, I said I was going to write it weekly, as a way of keeping up a kind of 'playful' research practice - a way of writing that didn't feel as academic or restrictive as that actual PhD writing feels. The last couple of months, I have actively stepped away from writing in general in order to focus more on the practice element of my research. The aim is to generate two new films: one animated short, and one 'making of'-style film that reflects the main themes and aims of my research told through the film-making process. The methodology for recording the process of making the practice (and, consequently, engaging with plork as a methodology) is that I will make the first film (working title: 'Finding Play') and keep a weekly auto ethnographic journal in a kind of free-writing, train-of-thought style that charts how I'm feeling about the process and how the film is developing. This will then form some of the basis of the 'making of' film (working title: 'Pressing Play'), along with some of the interview audio I have captured during my research.
In order to undertake this process, I've had to step away from the blog writing for a bit. During previous bouts of practice work, keeping a blog that tried to analyse my thoughts and feelings (rather than just record them) created a kind of feedback loop which affected the practice itself. This methodology of constant thinking-whilst-working is not an effective one for a classic over thinker. However, in stepping away I worry that I have neglected not the PhD writing per se, but the blog writing itself, which is to say, I have neglected the part of the writing process I actually find fun. So I thought I would use some time this week to update on the state and status of Finding Play, and some observations about the way I have been working so far.
The idea of creating these two films came about last month when I was trying to develop the idea for what I and my supervisors were thinking of as the 'thesis film', the film which described my research through my practice. Taking inspiration from works like the Brothers Mcleod's Marfa (2018), I knew that I wanted to have a more documentary-style element to the piece. But I was, in a fashion I have now understood to be typical of my process, becoming more and more frustrated with my inability to pin down the idea itself.
I began thinking about what it was that I really enjoy making - what is my play, when it comes to work? And I reminded myself that what I like is dealing with big, lofty problems in a child-like, naive way and style. And I began drawing in my sketchbook again, something which I haven't done consistently for a while. I began drawing the shapes and lines which have become a valuable and important part of my practice, that for a while formed a daily playful practice but have now become a more ingrained part of my general creative practice.
https://vimeo.com/288702427
From there, I developed several ideas, but kept coming back to one that I felt reflected a situation I regularly found myself in, at least in a creative sense - a character that has forgotten how to play, and is struggling to find their 'play'. Play in this case acts as a kind of catch-all stand-in for play, playfulness, creativity and other connected themes. The story has developed and changed several times, but the core idea has remained the same: a character (Timothy Quiche) in search of play, echoing my drive to understand more about play through my research.
Thinking about the design, I based it around the work of Dick Bruna's Miffy characters, in combination with more contemporary designers such as Ed Cheverton and Nic Menard. The simplicity of the characters - almost as though they were made out of wooden blocks - really appealed to my drive to make something naive and child-like. This thinking impacted decisions on colour (largely primary) and even potential narrators: in a nod to memories of being read stories as a child, the current plan is to get my father to narrate the piece.
Fig 1 - Finding Play concept art
What has become absolutely crystal clear to me in the process of making this film is the importance of finding something you enjoy doing and sticking to it - not overthinking. Or rather, as my partner expressed it, stopping thinking and starting doing. More than with UPUP, which I embarked on without much of a plan at all, here I have allowed myself to plan, but within the planning have allowed myself the flexibility and curiosity to play and explore the ideas central to the film. This has meant the process has been slower - I am currently a little behind schedule - but it has also meant that I have enjoyed myself more whilst making it. In essence, play might not be time-efficient, but it is remarkably creatively efficient, a sentiment echoed in a recent discussion I had with animation studio FormPlay (to be written up).
But there has also been an interesting interplay between play and 'work' on this project. Firstly, the chaotic nature of play has meant that I have needed to be rigorously organised in my file structures, naming conventions, layer naming etc. - all the dry admin of working digitally. As the shape, structure and narrative of the film change, I have needed to keep track of everything for fear of losing an idea or an image through lack of organisation.
More importantly, play hasn't meant that I have stopped thinking about the ideas that are central to the piece. After I had begun animating some scenes - which I did because I knew they would be fun to do, and would help create a 'way in' to the project - I realised that the narrative wasn't necessarily saying what I needed it to, or at least not in the way that was originally intended. In an early version, Tim was helped on his way by his friend King Susan (fig 2). This worked as a tight narrative, but the more I thought about it, the more it implied the film was about needing someone else to help you play. That's true sometimes, and playing with others is of course a type of playfulness - but it's not a universal truth and, more importantly, didn't get to the core of the issue: that the only way to be playful, is to play; that play begets play.
Fig. 2 - Timothy Quiche and King Susan
I struggled with this for a few days, trying different narratives to try and get across these ideas. For me, this was particularly interesting, as it felt like in the middle of this period of quite intense, productive play, I was having to stop and 'work' at the narrative. In fact, of course, it was neither work, nor play - or rather, it was both; it was plork. I explored several ideas, tried new things out, created new storyboards. I was taking apart this very visually simple, naive film and analysing some of the philosophical aspects of it with quite intense scrutiny.
That's probably very normal. It's certainly normal for me; it's become part of my process. I just think there's something so interesting about this process of knowing what I want, but instead of spending ages chipping away at it, getting started, then pausing to solve problems, then returning to the more 'obvious' types of play...which, let's not forget, are work-like themselves. "Animation", as Nic Menard said in a recent talk at the University of Edinburgh, "is not fun". But I have built this little world in a way that makes me laugh, that brings me joy, that is a joy to animate and to explore, even with it's tricky technical and narrative quandaries.
As the film stands, at the end of a long intense period of searching, imagining, sitting, thinking, musing and literal staring at himself in the mirror, Timothy Quiche has a moment where he realises that despite all the big types of play that it's easy to miss, sometimes something simple can realign you with your own sense of playfulness (fig 3). That's something I'm going to try and keep in my own mind as I continue developing this film.
Fig 3. - Timothy stares into his soul...
...but remembers that sometimes you just need to pull a silly face.